The Many Faces of Love, Part One: Love Driven by Self Interest

Human society cannot exist without love. It connects people, strengthens relationships, and gives meaning to life. Yet love does not always appear in the same form. Some forms grow from sincerity and selflessness. Others revolve around personal gain and temporary need. This first part explores one such form. Love shaped by self interest.

What Is Self Interested Love

Self interested love grows around benefit rather than genuine feeling. The relationship lasts as long as the benefit continues. Once the benefit disappears, the affection fades with it.

A clear example often appears during election season.

Before elections, candidates move through neighborhoods and streets meeting voters with enthusiasm. Invitations to meals appear. Generous hospitality appears everywhere. People speak about their problems and hear grand promises about solutions.

During those days, it may feel as though the leaders truly care about the people. They speak warmly and show deep concern. Yet the moment the election ends and the goal is achieved, the warmth suddenly disappears.

The same leaders who once knocked on every door become distant figures surrounded by schedules and official commitments. Meetings, government work, and international travel fill their days. The voters who once mattered now struggle to reach them.

Ordinary citizens then spend months and years waiting, visiting offices, and hoping their concerns might receive attention. Many realize that the affection shown earlier had little connection with genuine care.

Love That Changes With Benefit

Self interested love does not belong to politics alone. It appears in many corners of society.

A common scene appears when someone gains a powerful position. Suddenly people gather around them. Admirers appear from every direction. Dinners take place in their honor. Public praise fills conversations. Expensive gifts arrive. Words of admiration flow easily.

Yet this admiration rarely lasts.

The moment that person leaves the position or loses influence, the same people who once surrounded them begin to disappear. The closeness fades quietly. The relationship turns out to be connected with the position rather than the person.

An old saying captures this reality well. A few bright nights followed by darkness.

Guidance from the Quran

Islam points toward the right direction for love. Faith calls for the strongest love to remain with Allah. No person or leader should reach a place in the heart where their love stands above the love of God.

The Quran speaks about this reality in Surah Al Baqarah.

And among people are those who take others besides Allah as equals. They love them as they should love Allah. The believers hold the strongest love for Allah.
Al Baqarah 165

Another verse describes what will happen on the Day of Judgment.

When those who were followed will turn away from those who followed them and they will see the punishment. All their ties will break.
Al Baqarah 166

The followers will then express regret.

If only we could return once again, we would separate ourselves from them just as they have separated themselves from us.
Al Baqarah 167

These verses warn against blind devotion and personality worship. Such attachment can harm a person in both worlds.

A Quranic Example of Self Interested Love

Another example appears in the story of Prophet Yusuf and the wife of Al Aziz, often known as Zuleikha.

Surah Yusuf describes how she tried to draw Prophet Yusuf toward herself after closing the doors. Prophet Yusuf sought refuge in Allah and refused the act. When the situation risked exposure, the same woman who had invited him turned the accusation against him.

This moment reveals a striking truth. When affection grows from desire or personal interest, fear can quickly turn it into blame and hostility.

Truth later came forward and proved the innocence of Prophet Yusuf.

The Difference Between True Love and Desire

The story of Prophet Yusuf highlights the deep difference between sincere love and love driven by desire.

Zuleikha’s attachment grew from personal desire. The outcome brought humiliation and regret.

Prophet Yusuf held his loyalty with Allah. He chose divine command over temptation. That choice brought dignity, authority, and honor later in life.

When power finally came into his hands, he did not ask for worldly reward. He turned toward a deeper prayer.

Creator of the heavens and the earth. You are my protector in this world and the next. Let me die as one who submits to You and join me with the righteous.
Surah Yusuf 101

A Moment for Self Reflection

These events offer a meaningful lesson. Every person needs to reflect on the nature of their own attachments. Are they tied to temporary benefit, or do they rise from higher purpose?

Love that revolves around benefit fades quickly. It often leaves disappointment and regret.

Love connected with the pleasure of Allah carries lasting strength. Such love guides a person toward success in this life and the next.

The heart needs direction. When the love of Allah stands at the center, other relationships find their proper place. Life becomes clearer. Hardships feel lighter. The true purpose of life begins to appear.

Love driven by benefit fades with changing circumstances. Love connected with faith and sincerity remains steady and meaningful.

Self interested love appears attractive at first glance. Its charm fades once the benefit disappears. True love stands on sincerity, loyalty, and devotion to what is right. When the heart attaches itself to higher purpose, relationships become healthier and life gains deeper meaning.

This article marks the first part in a series exploring the many forms of love. The next part will examine another face of love so that readers can better understand the difference between passing attachment and lasting devotion.

The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Opinion Desk.